When I say “self-love” I’m not referring to selfish arrogant conceit
But more of the lack of insecurities, jealousies, to rid yourself of the damaging effects of self-hatred or not taking care of yourself by negative comforts such as junk food, smoking, drinking, drugs, cutting, tattoos,… in other words, not knowing your worth as you are,…
Everything you think you have to have to comfort your inner voices that tell you that you need just one more… “thing” whatever that is.
For instance… “I need a cigarette”, “I need a drink”, “I need another tattoo”, are all some sort of temporary mask to put on to calm something that is going on, on the inside.
Set off by a trigger to seek a comfort, something to generate a feeling that will just get you by until the next one. Whether its something you need every hour or every week or every year and so on, and the more you do it the more of a habit it becomes, and when it’s a habit, you now think that it’s a part of you. So
Anything that makes you feel, good about yourself, tough, better, bigger, or more confident, anything that generates a feeling to take you to a place that you have to keep doing or getting to maintain that feeling,… there is something going on, on the inside that is not quite complete in your life that keeps you going back to that,… comfort thing. Or habit.
Unfortunately, those who rely on those things won’t fully understand that until they get to a place of total contentment with themselves. So deceptively will continue to rely on those things without even realizing it.
As a matter of fact, if you’re watching this and getting upset while you are defending your “thing”, there is more than likely something deeper going on.
Going even deeper with insecurities, jealousies, and issues inside of yourself that usually and eventually will spill over into your relationships.
So the need to work on being content with yourself as to not be a hindrance in a relationship by constantly needing attention or reassurance from those insecurities or codependency is beneficial in a healthy relationship…
When it says to “Love your neighbor as yourself” first you have to love yourself so that you can be effective in loving someone else, you can’t take care of someone else if you don’t care for yourself because your interests are always focused on self and the dissatisfaction you have for yourself.
You are so worried about what you look like, or act like, is my hair in place, does my butt look fat, what are they going to think of me,… blah blah blah,… ya know what?
Nobody really cares! Not being rude but everybody has enough to think about, much less be concerned with everything you think is wrong with you.
So being filled with self-worry or self-concern that you don’t have any room for anything or anybody outside of your insecurities because basically, they take most of your time.
To be honest, are selfish, any negative self-awareness that you generate outward, towards anyone else is a display of selfishness.
When you are completely secure with yourself (healthy self-love) then you are free to just be yourself without the hindrances and are then able to give of yourself instead of demand from others to “make you happy” or reassure your insecurities.
The only way to fix that is to rely on the way God himself thinks of you and then believe it, don’t wait for the feelings to come before you start to believe it, because they won’t. & the only way you are going to find out what God thinks of you is to read the words directly by him, for you to take straight to the heart.
The word “Believe” in scripture is a verb, an action word, something to tangibly take ahold of and make it a part of your life as if it already exists.
A conviction based off of faith and not the way you feel at any given moment.
So when it says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE, when it says he loves you, BELIEVE THAT HE DOES, & belief is a conviction, not a feeling.
And when it says to believe, don’t hesitate, from that moment on, to start living it as fact and not something that will come to you eventually.
Yes it will “feel” awkward and not true, but ignore that like dropping objects while learning to juggle, just pick them back up and keep going until it becomes a part of your life. Until it becomes a good habit.
If you wait for the feelings you will never experience that freedom.