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Peoples heart cry, not necessarily their words, is to love and be loved.
Boil down all of the surface happy pursuits, material possessions, relationships, geographical locations and so on, and you will be left with the desire to be truly happy.
If you ask someone “what they want?” most will start naming off things like, money, a new car, house, girlfriend, boyfriend or whatever, but the end result they’re looking for is what they think will “make them happy”
It’s just that most don’t know where to look because true happiness is not found in anything outside of yourself.
We all need to realize that we come complete and carry around within our very being the ability to be completely satisfied and happy without anything else involved. Nothing external.
Most even think that love Is a feeling, but feelings can also betray you, for instance, one day you can be upbeat, positive and feel good about yourself so your behavior & attitude follow suit, and then the next day you can be down, negative and feel bad about yourself and again your behavior goes right along with it.
The search to love and to be loved with the wrong motivation is usually replaced with song titles such as “love stinks” and the conclusions that “I give up on love,” but rather what they actually mean is that they are giving up on the lack of love, or what they perceive to be love.
Of course, everyone has issues but when you realize that you can’t rely on others to make or maintain your happiness, things will be all around more bearable.
To be on more of a stable ground, an even keel if you will, to be positive and upbeat the majority of the time, you have to base your attitude on something that doesn’t change with every circumstance or feeling, an anchor point without it being attached to a noun.
So what is Love?
- Doesn’t envy or boast
- It’s not arrogant or rude
- It’s not selfish
- It’s not irritable or resentful
- Doesn’t point out your faults, or your problems
- It’s not glad when something wrong happens, but it is with the truth
- Love bears, believes, hopes, & tolerates all things
- It’s continual & never ending
- Always there, a part of you
If you’re not experiencing that kind of love then you’re not giving up on “love” you’re giving up on the lack of love, or your false perception of love, basically what is missing from that list. That is what you are giving up on.
So to love others to the capacity that you want to be loved, you first have to be secure enough in yourself.
You are also pulling the fruits off of that list to give to someone else as you want them to give to you.
Relationships might work out on the surface and sometimes still do, but they will never be what they could be if you’re carrying around baggage such as insecurities, anger, Unforgiveness, unrest, bad attitude, the victim mentality of someone else is always to blame for your misery…
Get rid of all that baggage and strive for a healthy depth of self-love, like contentment and security with confidence. “not conceit” conceit is adding selfishness to self-love, throwing it back too far in the other direction.
If you’re not happy with life, or yourself, as is, and being single even, without any possessions at all, before you go any further, especially in a relationship, So you’re not always wanting reassurance, approval and an unhealthy amount of attention all the time. It’s like one person laying bricks down to build a foundation for a house and the other one is going around right behind them taking those bricks and throwing them back in the yard,…. It’s exhausting and unnecessary.
It also cuts off and strangles the potential of what it could be or what it’s intended for in a healthy relationship.
You can’t truly love anybody else unless or until you are happy with self, at least to the depth that true love, at its core, was intended for.
Now If you do have security, contentment, and happiness inside of you without having to rely on an external source or “noun” you are then free to love and be loved to its fullest potential without anything else holding you back.
Don’t let the emptiness drive your life. Searching to fill a void that can’t be filled with anything outside of you, because all of those things are a means to a short-term surface happy that is only temporary.
So to be truly happy, pursue the things that can’t be taken from you. Like love, joy, peace, patience, contentment,… let those things drive your life.
Get rid of the negative complaining, bitterness, discontentment, and just let go, let go of trying to control everything, just let go and live.
But when you reach total peace on the inside, then the external things, relationships, possessions, etc. now will add a whole Separate level to life because you’re not always preoccupied with putting out the fires of life that keep you locked in a rut.
Free yourself from worry, fear, anxiety, and just trust that everything is going to be ok.
If anything is holding you back it’s usually your mind and the way you think.
Just remember that your creator has everything under control, close your eyes, Unless your driving – then keep your eyes open, take a deep breath, ask forgiveness for the negativity that’s been dominating your life, make a commitment to follow the path to positivity and strive to spread the goodness that your life was meant for. Give thanks to God the creator and put your complete trust in his son for making it possible to be seen as perfect simply by accepting his gift of grace by putting your faith in him.
And then go and sin no more.